Well, after the law on hot water I now find out that the EU has just pushed through a law that will see motorcycles disappear from the roads of Europe and will make it all but impossible for people under 24 to ride one.
Rather than rant and froth I have decided to be calm and start our own Parliament so we can make society better.
Here's how it works:-
Someone presents a new law with a brief explaination. The next person comes along and writes either 'passed' or 'not passed' before presenting their new law.
I'll start with -
LAW - ALL PEOPLE OVER 65 WHO LIVE IN DERBYSHIRE WILL GET FREE SURF BOARDS.
WHY - As the government expects everyone to work until they drop the over 65's will require more holidays and although Derbyshire is land-locked global warming should ensure that most of the county will soon have beaches.
Trust me, I'm a doctor.
PASSED WITH A CAVIAT - ALL TO BE SUPPLIED WITH COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF BUBBLE WRAP OR COTTON WOOL. We don't want them filling up our non existant empty beds in hospitals.
NEW LAW - ALL UNDER 24'S TO BE SUPPLIED WITH BUBBLE WRAP (SUBSIDISED OF COURSE)
WHY? - SO THAT THEY DON'T HURT THEMSELVES WHEN THEY FALL OFF THEIR HONDA 49cc BUZZ BIKE.
"To play it safe is not to play at all."
PASSED. With luck, the kid who rides his motorbike up and down my street when I'm hungover on a Sunday morning will suffocate to death if I cover him with enough bubblewrap.
PROPOSAL: ADVERTS FOR ADULT CHAT LINES SHOULD BE FORCED TO SHOW THE ACTUAL EMPLOYEES WHO WILL HANDLE THE CALLS.
Because I'm fed up with Channel 4 putting on a documentary about something like ancient Etruscan politics late at night and EVERY advert featuring a blond supermodel who is apparently desperate to hear from a slightly overweight troll.
PASSED *with a rousing cheer from the house*
LAW - People with dogs should have to carry a radio reciever with them when they leave the house so that they can hear their dog barking and howling just as loud as the rest of the street.
Trust me, I'm a doctor.
PASSED!!!
new law - EVERYONE shoudl get FREE eye tests!
(they get free doctors checks ffs)
we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars
I've never had to pay for an eye test...
exactally my point! - if you dont have to why shoudl i have to? huh?! an optition is just like a doctor for eyes!
we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars
Well, maybe you should shop around?
Mighty Jack ( 7 )
· Group: Members
· Rank:
· Posted On: April 1, 2006 at 09:54 PM
ill pass that one, health care should be available to all regardless of 'supposed'wealth.
I vote that anyone caught littering should be frog-marched to the nearest bin and forced to eat the bit of food closest to the bottom of the aforementioned bin, that'll learn em!
People don't stop playing beacause they grow up; they grow up because they stop playing.
Thumbs Up Friend!
PASSED
Welcome MJ.
PROPOSAL: All politicians found abusing their position should have to pay all the money back they have earned since being in office.
Trust me, I'm a doctor.
PASSED with flying colours, we could be a debt free nation in hours!!!
PROPOSAL: Every MP should have to have their teeth removed without anaesthetic until NHS dentists are in abundance - MR Blurr can have his vasectomy with Value Added Trauma too!!!
"To play it safe is not to play at all."
PASSED on condition that I get to be the dentist and surgeon.
PROPOSAL: All townies who decide to go on a hiking holiday in Wales should be castrated and banned from being allowed to vote. And then they get taken to the top of Mount Snowdon in winter wearing summer clothes where they get their legs broken, after which they are free to go.
This afternoon, I met a party of over a dozen students who had decided to spend a week or so hiking in rural Wales. They had spent over FOUR HOURS walking along the Brecon & Abergavenny canal towpath without realising that the long, narrow strip of water next to them was a canal. Some people would have figured it out from the signs saying "Brecon and Abergavenny Canal" and all the canal barges going up and down.
I mean, they were British, and there are dozens of canals in this country. It isn't as if they had just been shipped in from Western Sahara or Chad!
Why the hell are tourists in rural Wales so constitutionally incapable of realising that these are the hills that held off the English for eight centuries? It's not like a gentle stroll in your town park on a Sunday afternoon or the bijou 'hills' in the South-East!
The thing that makes me really want to sharpen my axe is the way these cretins think we're all mere country bumpkins and our warnings not to go hiking in the Cambrian Mountains in winter without an experienced guide are just supersticious twaddle!
The Discworld has the right idea. When the Lancre mountain rescue service realise that they have spent hours struggling through snow to rescue one of these idiots, they drag him further up the mountain and leave him there.
Excuse me while I join the Mountain Rescue Service to make the world a better place
PASSED.
Were they Geography students I wonder.
PROPOSAL:
All townies must stay in their towns on pain of death.
Trust me, I'm a doctor.
PASSED! And I'm guessing they weren't history or engineering students either.
PROPOSAL: Everybody should be forced to have an IQ test before being allowed to vote. Why should the votes of intelligent people be diluted by those of morons?
Mmm, as that would get rid of the need to vote because clever people would always vote for what's right it's
PASSED
PROPOSAL:
We should just have to work at the weekends and have all week off.
Trust me, I'm a doctor.