"FACT will not fund the window-covering steel shutter system necessary for viewing this film."

Charming.

Ah, yes, I know them well. Sometimes they actually bracket the feature, so you get them both before and after. As if seeing them twice will indelibly burn them onto your consciousness.

I doubt pirates would provide me with an inflatable axe if I bought a copied version of Kung Fu Hustle.

Ahem.

Sorry, I shall stop going on about that.

I do feel insulted, though. I go out, spend my cash on a legal version of the DVD, then have to sit through a fucking lecture on not pirating films. Surely there's going to be people going "Right, you fuckers, I'm going to pirate some films now, just because you made me sit through that shit." Doing more harm than good.

"MOVE PIRACY IS STEALING. STEALING IS AGAINST THE LAW."

Like pirates, upon seeing this, will then look at each other and go "What? Really?" and then stop pirating films. They know piracy is stealing. They know stealing is against the law. But they don't care.

Thanks to the total lack of effect adverts about stopping piracy are having, the bastards have made them unskippable (on some rental DVDs too, I notice), and have pumped up the music and increased the size of the warnings on screen.
Genius strategy, I must say.

"YOU WOULDN'T STEAL A CAR/PURSE/TELEVISION/(and the best one!)MOVIE." it says, despite the fact that film piracy is quite obviously stealing movies, you fucking morons. Not to mention, I imagine quite a lot of people WOULD steal those items IF the chances of them getting caught and prosecuted were infintesimal.

I also love the assumption in "YOU WOULDN'T STEAL...". Surely it should be "WOULD YOU STEAL...?". I think FACT (or whoever the fuck it is, who cares?) are making dangerous assumptions there that are obviously ruining their shit.

And not to mention the fact that putting warnings against PIRACY on a LEGALLY PURCHASED DVD is a bit fucking pointless. Why do people who buy DVDs legally need warning not to pirate films? Stupidity of this magnitude is staggering.

It's like the warnings on Xbox discs. "DO NOT MAKE ILLEGAL COPIES OF THIS DISC."
I can just see a pirate sat there, about to knock out a few hundred copies (which will no doubt go towards funding terrorism, yes, nice try there, I don't think. Incidentally, if any of you think I'm angry about that because I first thought the "Film piracy funds terrorism" posters in cinemas were some sort of new film advertisement at first, you're wrong. Totally wrong. I assure you) and suddenly seeing that warning and going "Allah hu akhbar! (because piracy funds terrorism, you see, all pirates are in fact terrorists) we had better not copy this disc! It says not to! We must carry out our jihad without the funds from dead or Alive: Naked and Sweaty."

Wankers.

Bet they've got five producers on his back though, making sure he does everything right. And by right I mean 'commercially'.

Think it's a first-timer directing, actually, so it could be interesting.

It's actually happening! Raimi is writing, and although he's meant to be on the lookout for a director, I think he'll end up doing it himself. An entirely new group of friends stumble across the Book of the Dead, and all sorts of shit starts to happen in true ED tradition.
No Ash, though I imagine Bruce will get a role.

http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt0434020/

Written by the Shaun of the Dead team and starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost plus others still to be determined, this should really kick some majot fucking arse.
A Brit piss take of the Yank cop buddy film, I predict a fucking funny film, but it'll be a while 'til it comes out, sadly.

http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt0425112/

Doubt it, unless Woo is directing again. Simon Pegg's in it, though.

I always liked Batman (got a good chunk of the early 'Legends of the Dark Knight' series) but DC's constant pissing about with timelines gets up my nose. Crossovers also make me scream and pull out my pubes in fury. Buying another title to fill a hole in the story...just gah. The red mist.

The slow start had me fidgeting. "It's going to start...now! No, no no, wait, it's going to start...no...now! ...Fuck." And as a result when it did kick off I was tense and not expecting it.

It's a bit good.

Thank you. I do try.

Couldn't resist. Connery always cracks me up.

As an Italian who had lived in Japan, visiting Scotland in Highlander: "Feel the shtag."

As a Russian sub captain in Red October: "Captain Marko Ramiush."

As an American scholar in the Last Crusade: "Markush Brody? You gave the diary to Markush Brody?"

As an SAS operative who'd spent thirty years in an American jail. "Maybe I'm looshing my shex appeal."

Classic.