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In Fookin' Bruges | March 16, 2009 at 06:42 PM

So many quotable lines in it, it's untold. One of the problems with black comedies ("A gay beer, for my gay friend, and a normal beer for me, because I am normal.") is that some people can't appreciate the juxtaposition of nasty stuff and humour ("What's a 50-year old lollipop man doin knowin fuckin karate! What was he, a Chinese lollipop man?"), and so they don't like the film at all, they don't get it.

This may be my sexist reasoning ("Course you can't see, I just shot a blank in your fuckin eyes."), but this mainly seems to be women who can't appreciate that the darkness makes the humour funnier, and the laughs make the darkness more poignant ("What exactly am I trying to say? Youse are a buncha fuckin elephants.").

It's a brilliant little film, alright ("YOU'RE AN INANIMATE FUCKIN OBJECT!!") with some good acting, gruesome and/or funny violence, and some really good though sad little moments.

I think it's fair to say that this is one of those films that you can't guess what it will be like beforehand, and it's best not to try.

"I mean basically, if you're robbing a man, and you're only carrying blanks, and you allow your gun to be taken off you, and you allow yourself to be shot in the eye with a blank, which I assume the person has to get quite close to you, then...yeah, really it's all your fault for being such a poof."

Idiot Hit By Bus. | October 30, 2008 at 01:37 AM

World's best police dog.


Get Your War On | October 23, 2008 at 04:59 PM

Unfair and unbalanced political comedy from the US. Really is very amusing.

http://www.236....list_1_8056.php - The Terrorist watch list.

http://www.236....lin_an_9028.php - A rape-based economy.

http://www.236...._surge_8423.php - The SURGE.

http://www.236...._bur_1_9612.php - The White Man's Burden.

Wii Music | October 21, 2008 at 02:40 PM

Far too plausible, stop it.

Wii Music | October 18, 2008 at 01:19 AM

...I may not be that good at reviewing games and whatnot...


But at least I A) Use words I know the meaning of, and B) Use a fucking spell- and grammar checker occasionally.

Wii Fit, since it was first unveiled; it is another piece of software that I continue to use -- it has, in fact, become part of my weekly workout regiment.

I think you mean regime or regimen, sir.

Grandpa, Whats An Arcade? | October 16, 2008 at 03:24 PM

Arcades: still having an influence on games design. As long as lives and continues are included, arcades will live on.

Stanislav Yevgrafovich Petrov Saved My Life. | September 26, 2008 at 11:47 PM

25 years ago, Petrov saved my life, and if you lived in a NATO or Warsaw Pact country back then, he saved yours, too.


He received no reward. He had a nervous breakdown. He eventually got an award and 500 from some organisation or other.

Thank you, Mr Petrov. Drunk in your honour, sir.

Idiot Hit By Bus. | September 25, 2008 at 10:07 PM

Two idiots this time.

Broken Sword Ds | September 24, 2008 at 06:06 PM

It's not a straight port. It's not even a Director's cut with extras thrown in for the sake of it. It may have had one of the most stunning openings of any game in history, but the new Broken Sword will go back in time. It will look at George Stobbart's life before an explosion in a Parisian cafe rocked his world. And it will let us see what the stunning Nico was up to prior to reporting on the intriguing events which unfolded throughout the original game.

Available to pre-order:


Death Race | September 23, 2008 at 10:33 PM

"The rules are, there are no rules."

Now I know this sounds terribly edgy but no-one has ever actually thought this through, have they?

"Right, I'm off home."

"No race to the death?"

"Nah, don't fancy it. And what with there being no rules..."


"That's right isn't it? There's no rules?"

"Er, yes. Yes of course. That's fine."

"Okay then."

"It's just, we sort of arranged all this. You know? And if you just go home it will be something of an anticlimax. Lot of people will be disappointed."

"Well, you did say there are no rules. Perhaps you should think it over a little more carefully next time. Goodbye."

Disaster: Day Of Clisis. | September 22, 2008 at 12:28 PM

Forthcoming Wii game, looks like it could be good.

Good use of melodrama, lads.

Review in Famitsu scores it at 34/40, which is a good score even if Famitsu isn't the most objective of publications.

Translated comments say:

Water-pin 8
In extreme circumstances, the scramble for survival and rescue.
Realistic graphics, tension and a high degree of empathy can be played.
For each scene, and tips on how to do different and keep making tired.

Sawa 8 in Rolling
In the excellent director, overcoming a major disaster will can enjoy a sense of realism and tension.
Gun Shooting, car action, such as using the Wii remote and Nunchuk
A variety of actions.

Yayoi Honda 9
Learn a variety of actions, to carve one's way to have fun.
More than anything else, like how to throw hard in a very cool movie.
Difficulty is a bit expensive, but we do have damage included.

Devil Fujiwara 9
From major disasters and terrorist attacks is a hot theme.
You can enjoy a variety of nice action.
Hollywood also cinematic good sense of realism.
The hero, weapons and even have a growth element.

Almost haiku-like in their beauty. Coherent English could not hope to make the game sound so excellent.

Cunt's Corner. | September 14, 2008 at 05:03 PM


Thong robbers? Mong robbers.

Idiot Hit By Bus. | September 8, 2008 at 06:58 PM

Absolutely fantastic.

Beowulf | May 13, 2008 at 02:40 PM

Well, the motion-capture animation is good. They've turned a rather epic poem into a decent action film, added some extra elements, fleshed out some of the characters (sagas not being known for their deep characterisation, admittedly), one or two cliches and, for fuck's sake, Ray Winstone as Beowulf. Can he keep his accent under control? Can he bollocks.

It's only voice acting, really, and they could have found someone who doesn't sound so daft amidst the Scandinavians, couldn't they? Anthony Hopkins, Brendan Gleeson, John Malkovich, Angelina Jolie, they all manage to get a grip, why not Ray?

Enjoyable film, though I dunno whether Neil Gaiman had a good influence or not.

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