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Pet Hates | February 17, 2006 at 06:40 PM

Is coughing over the phone okay if you're phoning in sick because your team are playing at home?

One thing that drives me up the wall is when newspapers treat a minor bit of gossip about some actor or footballer as serious news and give it priority over news that actually is serious.

And similarly, the fashion for celebrities to give their kids bizarre names. What do they think is going to happen when the poor kid goes to school?

Having Trouble Finding The Right Job? | January 21, 2006 at 11:42 AM

I think he was assassinated before he could confirm that horse in its appointment.

I loved his military campaigns - rather than actually fight the Germans, he brought some slaves in Gaul and told them to affect German mannerisms so he could pass them off as prisoners of war when he returned to Rome.

His campaign against Britain was no better - he got the Roman army all lined up on his side of the Channel and told them to collect sea shells to symbolise his victory over the sea

Having Trouble Finding The Right Job? | January 20, 2006 at 08:30 PM

Builder. Does that mean I have to lead the choruses of wolf whistles at any women who walk past the building site?

I had another go using my middle initial this time and I got Emperor of the World, so my first go was obviously only a practice I think I shall make Caligula my role model.

Ones To Avoid | January 19, 2006 at 08:56 PM

Wait until Dubya finds out that the current president of France is Jacques chIRAC. That's close enough for him to get the stealth bombers out

Ones To Avoid | January 19, 2006 at 09:45 AM

If it burns itself out, the Americans are going to be REALLY dissapointed when they can't lob missiles at anybody

Ones To Avoid | January 18, 2006 at 07:17 PM

I recently brought the DVD of 28 Days Later, and I can't figure out why the film was so successful as it was just a rehash of Survivors with a few zombies and some REALLY bad science thrown in for good measure.

In 28 Days Later, one of the characters said that there had been outbreaks in New York and Paris, so how come the the Americans are able to sort out the situation in Britain if the disease has managed to establish itself in America?

What We Need Is A ......... | January 18, 2006 at 11:05 AM

If any of you plan on visiting Wales, stay out of Newport on a Friday or Saturday night. The men will kick your head in, but that's just their idea of a friendly greeting.

The women are far worse. They drink a couple of gallons of cheap cider with a chaser like a bottle of vodka. They then find some poor chap and they alternate between showing him what inappropriate body parts they have had pierced with slapping him around and throwing up. And if they need to go to the toilet they just use the street. They also use swear words as pronouns even on the rare occasions when they haven't been on the meths...

For some reason, I don't find myself attracted to women who behave like this, as weird as it sounds. This means that they accuse me of being homosexual, an offence that still carries the death penalty in the festering swamp that is Newport

Pete, don't worry it is VERY easy to tell the difference between men and women in Newport. The men have fewer tattoos and they don't bother fishing for compliments about their assorted body piercings.

Total War Series | January 16, 2006 at 06:59 PM

Thanks.

Does anybody know if there are any other games set in Dark Age/Middle Ages Europe with the same sort of combination of battles and territorial development only with more sophisticated diplomacy and politics?

Total War Series | January 15, 2006 at 09:19 PM

Rome Total War has more diplomatic options and lots more faction-specific units, but it sufferes from a very weak and buggy AI and battles that feel as if they couldn't make up their minds whether they wanted to put the emphasis on tactics or arcade action.

I quite liked M:TW though, but you have to tinker with it slightly to get maximum enjoyment. I find it's best to adjust the AI behaviour of each catholic faction to CATHOLIC_DEFENSIVE by editing the text files in the Campmap/Startpos directory. That way they build up their provinces more before they attack a neighbouring faction, which means they have more advanced troops with armour upgrades.

Land Of The Dead. | January 15, 2006 at 09:06 PM

I've got the directors cut. There's more tomato ketup splattered around the sets as they cut down the gore in the cinema version so the censors would let teenagers watch it without having to get their fake ID's out.

The DVD extras are fairly standard - there is the optional directors commentary and interviews on the making of the film with the cast and crew. One thing that surprised me was that the two chaps behind Shawn of the Dead had cameo appearances, and there was a sort of video diary of their role and getting to meet George Romero.

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