My nightmare began two weeks ago when I woke up on my day off with the whole room spinning round - and I HADN'T HAD A DRINK!!!
Did I feel crap! the feeling took nearly two days to go away, now don't mind accepting the punishment when I've had a skin full but this was totally unfair. It'll teach me not to abstain on a Friday night!!!

silvertongedevil: I rekon the next law they will pass is that we can't have heating in our homes because we may get hurt!

Recent statistics show that 9 out of 10 A&E admittances for burns were caused through the exhallation of hot air by politicians - perhaps a vote on the form of execution would be good, keeps it democratic brothers!!

PASSED WITH A CAVIAT - ALL TO BE SUPPLIED WITH COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF BUBBLE WRAP OR COTTON WOOL. We don't want them filling up our non existant empty beds in hospitals.

NEW LAW - ALL UNDER 24'S TO BE SUPPLIED WITH BUBBLE WRAP (SUBSIDISED OF COURSE)
WHY? - SO THAT THEY DON'T HURT THEMSELVES WHEN THEY FALL OFF THEIR HONDA 49cc BUZZ BIKE.

FullAuto: That's what we like to see. Sportsmanship.

Win or lose you can't get much better than a group of thigh slappingly, extremely 'fit' bunch of men running about with an oval ball under their arm!! That's what I call 'sporting'

FullAuto: Whereas, us Brits, well, we're not even a democracy, are we? We basically let America win WWI AND WWII, we're corrupt and evil and we've always secretly hated the Americans for successfully rebelling (sorry, revolting) against colonial rule.

Bitter? Fucking right I am.

Don't forget FA that not only did we let Them win WW11 but we're still paying them for the priveledge!!!!

Many Happy Returns FA! Have a great day! Be careful when you have the celebratory shave (no nic's). Don't burn yourself blowing out the candles!!!

silvertongedevil: Oh yeah, I agree with everything. But hey I'm crazy so don't listen to anything I say.

Ay, did someone say something?? I can hear voices again mummy!

As this is a site based on the worldwide figures with a sub section for the UK, I think that the figures are biased towards showing the amount of people worldwide are below the poverty line, the translation to the UK is definitely flawed, or perhaps FA is right, I know around 1,000 people per week are heading to France, perhaps that's only the tip of the iceberg!! Did anyone hear about Monaco's sea level getting higher? Or perhaps it's the weight of all the affluent (or is it effluent) moving in???

Ok boys, if you look at how they work the figures out, I think you may find a bit of cock-up! I am conisdered as one of the top 25% of earners which I really AM NOT!! FA and STD, See what statisitcs can do?

I like water too, with hops, yeast, sugar etc.. I'm lucky enough that I not only attended school but also learned how to read & write and therefore I can choose which beer I drink 'cos I can read the labels. I also was advised not to believe statistics, you can make them say whatever you like and although I don't like to cast aspersions, I think that some of the published figures may not be totally accurate.

silvertongedevil: Good one LC, welcome to this small band of brothers. Of course you now have to write completely oddball posts, become an alchoholic and disappear for three months of the year.

Small band of brothers - I know I said I drove a taxi and my name was Barbara but I'm still waiting for the final op'! Alcoholic, I must try harder and disappearing for three months will practise a bit at a time in case I get lost (geography not being my top subject). Thanks for the encouragement tho'

'NOW THEN, CALM DOWN, CALM DOWN R FA AN STD AN AT ...liycke' this is supposed to be a friendly site for friendly, intelligent discourse !! Play nicely and NO FIGHTING !!! (shame the yanks don't listen to that advice!) _ No I'm not getting dragged into that argument - sorry discusssion/issue/challenge/other p.c. description for the same word!!

Accounting Troll: If you think that's bad, wait until you find out about the forms Greek gods took when they decided to seduce mortal women.

The constellation Cygnus commemorates the time when Zeus took the form of a swan to seduce Queen Leda. The other forms he took in order to seduce mortal women include a bull, an eagle and a satyr. And they weren't the worst...

Having kept ducks and geese, I can only imagine the tackle a swan has (I have to say that girly ducks always walk away with a strange gait not sure if it's a smile on their face!!!)

silvertongedevil: I always thought that Joseph character was a bit gullible - "Er, my love I seem to be pregnant, yes, yes I know I'm a virgin, er ..... God did it'"
It's a crap excuse and yet he fell for it and gave credence to the religion based on an oxymoron.

Excuse me sir, would you mind making a statement explaining if you read The Davinci Code before or after you made this statement? knee bend, knee bend.

Ivory: well i know a couple who could DEFINATLY be first in line

I think that may be slanderous ma'am.