FA!!! Where dya go? Don't worry I don't bite (only very very gently most times anyways).. Kettle boiled so get yer cup ready.

FullAuto: A certain age, eh? Better than an uncertain one and a statutory rape charge, at any rate.

Well there you are you see, stick to the more mature ladies if you want to stay out of court! (well there's got to be some kind of bonus so long as you don't marry 'em).... but there again I'm likely to say that

Have to say that in the Midlands ladies of may I say ' a certain age' use a term for cleaning a place thoroughly - 'get it bottomed' Well ok, I'll give it a go, I'll try anything once or several times if need be!!

Slip into your marigolds love, we've got some serious stuff to get on with! (I'm getting lathered up ready). Where would you like me start boss?

Right then, first job - PUT THE KETTLE ON!!!
The bunny was pink (if that'swhat you were referring to???;-)
2nd Job get battery charger on - for the duracell's now what??? Only two people to carry on the future of TLO, can we recruit the old team? It's a hard job but hey, we can do it!!!
You up for a challenge FA?

Well I know FA is still around, and yes I have had some time off but wow the crickets (it's deafening). Oh mummy I'm scared, even the office kettle is cold!!!

Well for the first time in around 13 years, May Day (May 1st - not Necessarily Bank Holiday Monday) has been a bit of a wash out.
I always celebrate the day by decorating the house with seasonal flowers and garlands, going for a walk in the country side and then getting VERY,VERY Drunk!!! I'll just have to accept that two out of three aint bad.
I do think it's a shame that most people don't know why we celebrate the day, most think it's some sort of flag flying day for the labour party (I see now why it's not popular!!).
We are celebrating the coming of Summer and yes it did used to be a day for people to get hired for seasonal work at village markets but I don't think they had a chance to vote!
Anyway I'm off now to get squiffy, as the weather's too rainy and cold to go for a whiz on the bike, looks like the bottle of bubbly gets it!!! Oh Woe!!!!

Article Bot: Whilst the film industry runs around looking for the next film to remake, Silvertongedevil finds an original story from down under.

Discuss the full article - Indian Summer by silvertongedevil below...

I am again in agreeance with STD, what a superb film this was. Yes the cars etc were possibly incorrect but over all the film was GREAT!!!
I thought Anthony Hopkins played a very believable part and although as you say, his accent did need a passport I still enjoyed the whole film.
It brings a line from Red Dwarf to mind 'What a Guy' I would happily go and see it again or watch it on DVD (if I had a TV).
It's nice to see something from New Zealand hit the big screen for a change!

Ivory: motorcyclists = vulnerable road users my ass!

Well Ivory I didn't know you had a donkey/horse cross breed, does it eat much?
As for motorcyclists not being vulnerable, try having a one ton vehicle pull out in front of you from a junction, it kinda hurts when you're sliding down the tarmac whilst the driver of the said vehicle wonders what hit him (or rather what he hit!!!)

silvertongedevil: Motorbikes - and I see Lady Castlemaine that you have a VFR. Pretty quick if I may say.

Are you referring to the bike with this comment? - too right it's quick!! What form of two wheeled combustion powered devil do you have?
I must say, there is nothing to beat riding a quick bike along a nice quiet slightly bendy road at 130mph - summer's round the corner - Hooray!!!

Accounting Troll: PASSED, providing we get paid for five days and not two

PROPOSAL: There's some council elections coming up in England and Wales, so I propose that politicians be banned from saying "These results are a victory for our policies".

Every single party uses that argument from the one set of results

PASSED: More proof that statistics can prove anything you want them to.

PROPOSAL: That all BP employees Especially the upper management be forced to drink petrol, it'll soon be as expensive as beer so instead of 'let them eat cake' let them drink crude oil!! (Just how many billion £'s do they want to extract from us??? - or are they just extracting the P**S)

STD I can only agree, Pink Panther was absolute, unadulterated shitte!!! I thought Cassanova was bad enough, although at least with Cassanova the costumes and locations were good to look at! PP was total kack.
Now in contrast The World's Fastest Indian was great - Anthony Hopkins played a great role but I'll leave that to STD as he beat me to the review!!

PASSED with flying colours, we could be a debt free nation in hours!!!

PROPOSAL: Every MP should have to have their teeth removed without anaesthetic until NHS dentists are in abundance - MR Blurr can have his vasectomy with Value Added Trauma too!!!

FA, it's like riding a bike only difference is that if you're no good you dont fall off and hurt yourself. I am a born again bassist, originally i joined a band and learned their songs, played my first gig after 6 weeks in front of 1,000 people, it was GREAT!!! now I'm learning properly, scales finger exercises, the lot, slow but I'm sure eventually better.

People you ask for directions, they then spend 30 minutes explaining the route you need to take which you carefully write down, follow and find out that they were the village idiot or even worse- aren't from around here!!! So you end up asking again and the next one says, OOhh you need to go back the way you came !!!!???