Presott should be fed to the lions as the Romans did with Christians except that the lions only get an hour for lunch.

PASSED *with a rousing cheer from the house*

LAW - People with dogs should have to carry a radio reciever with them when they leave the house so that they can hear their dog barking and howling just as loud as the rest of the street.

Well, after the law on hot water I now find out that the EU has just pushed through a law that will see motorcycles disappear from the roads of Europe and will make it all but impossible for people under 24 to ride one.

Rather than rant and froth I have decided to be calm and start our own Parliament so we can make society better.

Here's how it works:-

Someone presents a new law with a brief explaination. The next person comes along and writes either 'passed' or 'not passed' before presenting their new law.

I'll start with -

LAW - ALL PEOPLE OVER 65 WHO LIVE IN DERBYSHIRE WILL GET FREE SURF BOARDS.

WHY - As the government expects everyone to work until they drop the over 65's will require more holidays and although Derbyshire is land-locked global warming should ensure that most of the county will soon have beaches.

I rekon the next law they will pass is that we can't have heating in our homes because we may get hurt!

Some arse of an MP called Cray has come up with a great idea. All baths and sinks should have a thermostatic-mixer system in them by law so that we all don't get scalded when we have a bath. I've got a better idea - shoot the daft bastards that hurt themselves in this way, double tap the dickheads but don't tell me I have to pay BATH TAX.
Then look for this Cray person and drown her in a bath with luke warm water.

It's nice to know that our government are on the cutting edge of social issues. Not crime, poverty, starving pensioners or even health, what the people of this country want is to know their bath water is just right. - Christ, what next?

Hey chaps - we ought to be on a salary here.

"Aunty TLO's Get Your Shit Together" forum.

MAD AND FUCKED UP MINDS A SPECIALITY - We can't put you right but we can tell you were all the crazies hang out.

Never, no never at weekends. I can't say I ever have. Oh .... sorry ....... I got mixed up - I thought you said water.

Life is far too short to make plans. Don't take too much notice of how others deal with it, they may look as if they ducked but inside the effort to do that may be taking it's toll in some other way.

FA's got it right. What's the point in aiming for something other people want - it's what you trully want and I mean trully want that you need to look for.

Myself, I get up in the morning and see what mischief I can get up too before it's time for bed. That's it.

And as for parners - I ain't gonna say how long I have lived with the same person but we do our own thing and it's great - because we set 'no rules' mode from the very start.

Smug, ain't I.

Some of us can!!!!

Scotland winning the Cacutta Cup after 175 years!! Well it seems like it.

Too right - it's a very underated flavour.

A friend and I once went touring around Snowdonia and being 'hard bikers' decided to rough it. We slept under the stars on the hills and I loved it - until in the middle of the night some odd-monkeys pulled up near the bikes and started taking photos. We could hear the camara winding gear and see flash but by the time we got there they were gone.

We expected to see our bikes in some porno mag, not that ...... I ever ...... go looking at that ....... sort of thing of course.......

Well there wouldn't be would there if it was snowing!

Motorbikes - and I see Lady Castlemaine that you have a VFR. Pretty quick if I may say.

I also like chocolate - a chocolate bike would be nice.

Any product by Microsoft.