The Last Outpost Forums ( http://www.thelastoutpost.co.uk/forums/ )Everyone Who Works In A Games Shop Is A Retard.

Source: http://www.thelastoutpost.co.uk/forums/index.php?gettopic=267

FullAuto | February 7, 2006 at 04:08 PM

I scrimp and save, hoarding my pennies to buy games to amuse myself and distract me from this bitter, tiny shell of al ife. And what happens? They put the right games in, oh yes. But for the wrong console.

Thank you, GameStation.

Now I am consigned to another evening of self-harm and throwing knives at pictures of small fluffy bunny rabbits.

Sometimes, the whole world conspires against you. It really does.

Lady_Castlemaine | February 7, 2006 at 04:24 PM

Bit upset are we? You see what you failed to understand is that the Games shop staff are Dixons rejects - and that takes some doing!!!

FullAuto | February 7, 2006 at 04:43 PM

I am a tad miffed yes. Not only are the discs for the wrong console, they're also muckier than a night of sex with a Thai ladyboy. How difficult is it to wipe a disc, you horrible unclean bastards?

Even if I had the right console (or by pure chance, they give me the right discs) they wouldn't work. There's jam on one of them! Jam, for fuck's sake!

Lady_Castlemaine | February 7, 2006 at 04:56 PM

FullAuto: I am a tad miffed yes. Not only are the discs for the wrong console, they're also muckier than a night of sex with a Thai ladyboy. How difficult is it to wipe a disc, you horrible unclean bastards?

Even if I had the right console (or by pure chance, they give me the right discs) they wouldn't work. There's jam on one of them! Jam, for fuck's sake!

Asking a bit much from morons! and you always said you wanted jam on it! They probably tried to eat the thing when it wouldn't work in their machine either! Now keep calm and take one of your little pills.

silvertongedevil | February 7, 2006 at 06:22 PM

FullAuto: There's jam on one of them! Jam, for fuck's sake!

What flavour?

Pete | February 7, 2006 at 07:19 PM

Indeed - STD is on my line of thought here. At least you have jam to amuse you... and maybe some expensive second hand frisbees!

FullAuto | February 7, 2006 at 08:03 PM

It's fossilised into something resembling a scab, but still smells quite sweet. Possibly strawberry. In which way do jam and discs go together?

I shudder to think at the possibilities.

silvertongedevil | February 7, 2006 at 10:12 PM

Mmm, if it smells sweet it could be Chutney too.

I would take it back and tell them to shove it up their arses unless you get one with proper marmalade with the shredded orange.

FullAuto | February 7, 2006 at 11:48 PM

You must be joking. Marmalade like that is too expensive to waste on game discs. It has to be smeared across vintage vinyl LPs.

Lady_Castlemaine | February 8, 2006 at 10:05 AM

FullAuto: You must be joking. Marmalade like that is too expensive to waste on game discs. It has to be smeared across vintage vinyl LPs.

The thicker 78's give a more crunchy and satisfying snack!

FullAuto | February 8, 2006 at 04:53 PM

Got it sorted out today, after a massive row in the shop. For some reason, they suspected I was part of some dastardly plot to swap in PS2 games in Xbox cases, presumably to destabilise first the gaming industry, then Europe and then capitalism entirely, leaving the entire globe free for Islamic extremists to conquer.

They even tried to blame the jam on me. Nice try, boys. Unlike some, I don't clean my hands by wiping them on the nearest available surface.

silvertongedevil | February 8, 2006 at 05:16 PM

Are you happy now? What's the game anyway - you failed to mention that.

FullAuto | February 8, 2006 at 05:52 PM

Conflict: Global Terror (Melodrama Is Rife), Viewtiful Joe and Metal Slug 4.

silvertongedevil | February 8, 2006 at 08:00 PM

FullAuto: Conflict: Global Terror (Melodrama Is Rife), Viewtiful Joe and Metal Slug 4.

You're gonna be busy!

Azrael Strife | February 8, 2006 at 08:03 PM

I can't wait to get rid of this exam, I haven't played a game for real in too long... I got UFO: Aftershock, Halo: Combat Evolved, Planescape: Torment, Fable: The Lost Chapters, Space Rangers 1 and 2 and Need For Speed: Most Wanted installed and on standby

silvertongedevil | February 8, 2006 at 08:10 PM

What the hell is Space Rangers? It kinda rings a bell but I don't know why.

FullAuto | February 17, 2006 at 05:05 PM

Possibly you've got it confused with that crisp of crisps, that quintessential pickled onion flavour Space Raiders?

Went in Gamestation today and the manager stared at me the entire time. I think he remembers me and is dreading a repeat performance.

Pete | February 17, 2006 at 06:35 PM

Give 'em hell mate!

FullAuto | February 17, 2006 at 06:44 PM

Or perhaps it was just "Who's that suspicious-looking fucker? I'm sure I've seen him on Crimewatch."

Lady_Castlemaine | February 17, 2006 at 07:46 PM

FullAuto: Or perhaps it was just "Who's that suspicious-looking fucker? I'm sure I've seen him on Crimewatch."

something to do with the haircut perhaps???

silvertongedevil | February 17, 2006 at 08:00 PM

And the striped jersey and the bag on your shoulder with 'swag' written on it?

FullAuto | February 18, 2006 at 03:57 PM

something to do with the haircut perhaps???



How could he see my boys? I was wearing jeans. Unless my flies were down...

Lady_Castlemaine | February 19, 2006 at 07:41 PM

FullAuto:

something to do with the haircut perhaps???



How could he see my boys? I was wearing jeans. Unless my flies were down...

Not wearing the leather hot pants this time then? (Tee he!) There's no wonder you get jam on yours or was it something else sticky????

FullAuto | February 19, 2006 at 08:15 PM

I don't know what's more disturbing. The thought of employees being stupid enough to spill jam on discs (surely they'd clean it or knock it back if presented with jam on? "Sorry sir, we don't take strawberry.") or being peverted enough to toss over them ("Darling, you know when I said I loved my Xbox...I meant literally.").

Pete | February 20, 2006 at 07:09 PM

I told you "Xbox 360" was a position in the Kama Sutra FA and nobody else believed me

Lady_Castlemaine | February 20, 2006 at 09:55 PM

Pete: I told you "Xbox 360" was a position in the Kama Sutra FA and nobody else believed me

But did you try it??? (without pulling any muscles)

FullAuto | February 26, 2006 at 06:58 PM

Cramp set in rather quickly, I'm afraid.

Accounting Troll | March 14, 2006 at 06:39 PM

This is an exceedingly disturbing thread.

FA, would you like to be alone with your toaster?

silvertongedevil | March 14, 2006 at 06:59 PM

But for Gods sake switch it off first.

Accounting Troll | March 14, 2006 at 08:17 PM

Is it too late to add that one to the poll of painful experiences?

It's his girlfriend I feel sorry for. Imagine having to dress up so you look like a microwave oven...

silvertongedevil | March 14, 2006 at 09:36 PM

Oh they went much further than that - she had to wear the hair dryer suit just so that he could get a 'blow'. Not mush of a curl though with nads as bald as Bob Hoskins grandad.

FullAuto | March 14, 2006 at 10:07 PM

Hey, when my nuts are as polished as they are, you don't need curl!

FullAuto | July 12, 2006 at 10:59 AM

My local indie have attempted their own website...and then gave up halfway through.

http://www.cool...com/index2.html

Tragic. Trying far too hard, boys. Full marks for ambition, but the realisation has fallen far short. I've been going there for years, and I preferred it when it looked like an indie, and not a damned Gamestation wannabe.

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